Methods
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First of all I want to say that the methods that are used always work in the background as a palette of tools and knowledge that I use to work with you.
I want to meet you as a person in the first place, where you are in this moment.
Somatic Experiencing and NARM are body-oriented modalities of therapy that work with shock trauma, developmental trauma and stress in all areas of us as humans. By that I mean physical, emotional and cognitive. Trauma and stress is stored in the body, in how we deal with it emotionally and how we think about ourselves and the world around us.
Somatic Experiencing®
We have three survival mechanisms:
Fight , flight and freeze (collapse and fainting are related to freeze)
Animals have the same mechanisms.
When there is no way to fight or flight, we freeze.
The break is on it with a lot of survival energy under it.
In an SE (Somatic Experiencing) session, the survival energy that got stuck in the nervous system is dosed in a titrated way and discharged. In very small steps we go in and out of the tension. This ensures discharge of the stored energy. We work with physical sensations, such as tingling sensations, heat and flow, you can track step by step what is happening inside of you without being overwhelmed. This also helps to have a greater sense of control and manageability over the body. SE helps you become aware of what your resources are that support the processing process.
Examples of internal resources are:
Your sense of humor, contact with the ground, sense of strength, creativity, your intelligence, your breathing, where it feels good and pleasant in your body.
External resources can be:
Friends, family, a nice place, positive memories, nature, music, art. But also objects with an important value to you such as a ring, a statue, a doll, a work of art, etc.
Resiliance
With various trauma's it often happens that we are no longer aware of our borders. We are irritable quickly, have trouble saying no. We are constantly looking behind us, so that we no longer know what is happening in front of us. Our resilience is declining. With SE and NARM you learn to be more present with the inconveniences in your system without running away from it or suppressing it. As you become more aware of how sensations and survival mechanisms work in the body, you can also discharge and regulate yourself better. The moments of tension will be in your system for less time and you will also be able to react more resiliently to situations.
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Somatic Experiencing is made to carefully, without reliving the trauma, helping the body to release the frozen tension little by little. The completion that could not be made in the past can be finished in the here and now. This discharge can finally, often after many years, restore peace of mind and body.
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NARM
The Neuro Affective Relational Model, is based on 5 core needs :
- Connection with yourself and others
- Being able to express needs
- Having trust, being able to be volunarable and ask for help
- Autonomy, being able set clear borders
- Love and sexuality, healthy relationships
When these core needs are not properly addressed by our caregivers at young age then our basic needs cannot move freely. Problems can then arise in feeling connection with ourselves and others. A feeling of mistrust and insecurity can arise, we cannot express our needs or are unable to set clear boundaries. Our love life can get confused because we don't experience a healthy love-sexuality connection.
Together with you, we explore the dilemma's you may face.
For instance:
You would love to connect with someone but have difficulty with it.
When i express my needs, i will loose my partner.
You have trouble trusting yourself and others, but you would like to.
You want to stand up for yourself but have difficulty with that.
When i say how i really feel, i will be rejected
When i say no to my boss i will be fired
With these dilemma's i work on a cognitive, emotional and body oriented level so all parts of your inner experience will be adressed in small steps.
polyvagal theory
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This theory, developed by Steven Porges, is based on three states we can be in:
Safety, danger or life threat.
In safety, a part of our nervous system is active that ensures social involvement, rest and homeostasis.
When there is danger, there is fight and flight.
We freeze in case of life threat.
What Steven Porges discovered was that the parasympathetic nervous system is active in safety and life-threatening situations.
The vagus nerve is 80% part of the parasympathetic nervous system.
The vagus nerve consists of two parts: the ventral and the dorsal vagus.
In safety, the ventral vagus is active (from diaphragm to head).
When life is in danger, the dorsal vagus is active (from diaphragm down).
In case of danger, the sympathetic nervous system is active. (fight and flight)
When we are in fight or flight mode or when we freeze, the ventral vagus is pretty much out.
We are no longer able to move and connect socially.
This theory helps us see when we are in what state and what helps us get out of the freeze.
Mobilization is often an important part of this.
In the sessions we do that in a way it is manageable for you.
Somatic experiencing and NARM both work with the knowledge from this theory.
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Click here for more info on trauma and stress.
systemisch werk
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We all come from a system. The family system. Every system has an order. Our ancestors, grandfathers, grandmothers, the father, the mother, the eldest son or daughter, the middle, the youngest, uncles, aunts, cousins.
When there is a shift in a system, you may no longer be in your place.
For example, you take in the place of one of your parents, or you mediate to prevent the nest from falling apart.
The unborn, a miscarriage, a secret, a deceased person, illness, war, abuse, violence, wanting to have a son rather than a daughter or vice versa, fleeing from a country, remarriage, a secret lover, divorce, etc. are elements that affect the system. Loyalty, often unconsciously, plays a major role in this, causing us to depart from our own authentic place.
By you, setting up an arrangement on a table with wooden puppets that represent your family at that moment, a lot of information can emerge about how the dynamics in your family system are and were. By making contact with the people in your system, you gain insight into the mutual relationships, how everyone stands in relation to each other.
How would such a setup look like at best? And what is needed for that? What do you have to do for yourself in that?
I use this information together with you and with the knowledge from Somatic Experiencing and NARM to gain clarity so that you can find your own place again.
IFS internal family systems
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Internal family systems assumes that we have different parts within us: Exiles, Managers, and Firefighters:
Exhiles, Managers and Firefighters.
Exhiles are parts that have been rejected or traumatized, carrying deep wounds and memories filled with terror, pain, and shame. Young and childlike, often frozen in time and hiding for protection, they become increasingly desperate to share their story. They make someone feel exposed and vulnerable, something that the protectors fear will destabilize the system. Their motto is "don't forget me."
Common behaviors and characteristics include: Sensitivity, Anger, Dependency, Innocence, Spontaneity, Openness.
Managers are protectors that act preventively to ensure that someone continues to feel safe by exerting control over other people, events, or parts. They carry enormous burdens from their responsibility to keep life together and fear that reduced control will lead to worse outcomes. They protect against vulnerability, pain, and imbalance. Their motto is "never again!" Common behaviors and characteristics include: Controlling, Analyzing, Planning, Criticizing, Judging, Caring, Numbing, Pessimistic.
Firefighters zijn: are protectors that spring into action as soon as the pain of other parts, particularly ordinary exiles, is touched or threatens to overwhelm. Firefighters act powerfully and automatically to suppress emerging exiles, reduce pressure, and quickly get out of danger. They can overpower managers who are trying to control the system. "When nothing else works" is their motto. Common behaviors and characteristics include: Substance abuse, Suicide attempts, Overeating, Infidelity, Distracting, Dissociating, Cutting, Overworking, Watching porn, Excessive exercising.
Furthermore, IFS assumes that there is also something within us that is unscathed, often referred to as our Self. This is the deepest essence or center of the person. When differentiated, Self-energy emerges as a compassionate leader with the ability to heal the system (the exiles, managers, and firefighters). Qualities of Self include: Courage, Compassion, Connection, Creativity, Trust, Calmness, Interest, Clarity, Patience, Presence, Playfulness, Curiosity, Perseverance.
In IFS, you learn to identify these parts and view them from the qualities of Self.
From the awareness you gain about these parts, you can free them from the burdens they carry and give them a different function so that they can work with you instead of against you.
These parts do not need to go away; rather, you can develop a healthy relationship with them so that your internal system is more balanced and attuned to one another.
The better you learn to recognize your own parts, the better you will also see them in others, allowing you to learn to look at yourself and others with compassion.
EMI - Eye movement integration
Scientific research shows that eye movements are linked to reactions to traumatic experiences.
It also shows that through the same eye movements, there is also a connection with the processing of traumatic experiences.
This makes the eyes the perfect connection to the brain where the traumatic experiences are stored.
EMI helps the brain do what it should have done during sleep.
Namely processing information and forwarding it to long-term memory.
EMI uses smooth following movements of the eyes, Smooth Persuit Eye Movement.
These are the movements made during sleep to process information.
By following these (SPEM) movements with our eyes, the brain is prompted to scan itself completely and collect all relevant information about the traumatic event. The brain puts all these puzzle pieces back together into a clear puzzle. Because EMI restores the natural rhythm between the left and right hemispheres, the puzzle of the event can be written into long-term memory.
As a result, the triggers no longer have an effect on the brain and the event takes on a different meaning.
At the beginning of the therapy there is an extensive examination of the triggers and the possible causes of the complaints. In addition, it is examined whether EMI is the right form of therapy for that moment.
During the EMI session I will make 22 movements with the fingers (or with a pen with a tube of a color that you like) that will be followed with the eyes.
Compared to EMDR, these movements are slow and easy to follow with the eyes.
While making these movements, key words related to the trauma being treated are repeated.
The stress load of the trauma will decrease over the course of the sessions.
The EMI therapy will be completed when the stress load is removed from the memory.
What can you experience?
During the sessions, old emotions can come up.
Sounds, images, smells, tastes or physical sensations can also be experienced that are related to the subject being worked with.
An EMI session lasts an average of 90 minutes.
With preparation and integration, it can take up to two hours.
As the stress load decreases, the sessions will be shorter.
The time between two sessions is two weeks.
What is the difference between EMI and EMDR?
EMI
- Tracks the speed of the client.
- Supports multi sensory integration.
- Does not give much weight to cognitive aspects of the trauma.
- Focuses on unconscious aspects of the trauma.
- 24 different eye movements.
EMDR
- Retains the same eye movement pattern or segment until no change is observed in the client's responses. Only then will it change in another direction.
- Speed ​​is usually as fast as possible (recent developments change in speed and direction)
- Slower movements on resource activation
- Emphasis on cognitive restructuring.
